Somedays I’m okay But today is not somedays And then when it turns night That’s when my brain likes to play Tricks on me and my memory Darkness creeps in every crevice Tainting everything that is precious You’d think I’d learn some lessons But I just need more sessions Of Therapy Maybe I’ll find some clarity Find some familiarity Because primarily This will only last temporarily And soon I’ll be sitting in my serenity
It doesn’t matter how many years have passed I can still feel you choke me I can still feel your grasp your grabs and your grip Fighting my screams by biting my lip You tossed and threw me like rag doll You behaved like a predator ready to maul I closed my eyes until it was over The shame and the pain, the full – body exposure I’ll never forget but I’ll always long for closure
I’m not in a good head space I’m in a really dark place Don’t want to look at my face All I see is a disgrace Feeling like I’m just a waste Longing for a warm embrace Searching for a familiar face Something to help in anyway. Do I not deserve grace To feel safe It’s not the case For now, I’ll cry in my dismay My life is in disarray Will I make another day?
He thought he had me in his hands. Convinced me of his lies. It was all apart of his plans. Filled my head with doubt and deceit. I had nowhere to go but down to dwell in defeat. Slipping away, sinking fast. Powerless to the spell he cast.
Struggling to stay above the surface. I watched my life fade away. I felt no purpose. Falling into the deep dark. My light diminishing. Heart beat fading, Gasping for air.
Below the surface, It was there, YOU found me. Drowning in the depths of darkness. Your light surrounds me. Slipping away, sinking fast You came to save me at last.
Slipping away, sinking fast I knew you’d save me at last.
This poem; i wrote many years ago and just found the original in the deep archives
I’m falling faster; deeper into the abyss Thinking about all the time I might miss The gravity, the force; increasing pressure The distance from here to the ground I can’t measure Increasing Heartrate, I can feel it pounding I don’t want to die I just need safe grounding